Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in Tales of a housewife's LiveJournal:

Friday, February 1st, 2008
1:50 am	4 Years later... Reading my past blogs i am hit with a gust of wind straight to my memory of alot of things i wanted to forget, good memories i should have held onto and details of my life that have made me who i am today. I thought in reading them "damn! I reaaaallly need to delete this, or start a new account..." but then i realized it's good for me to see my own transformations. I mean, how often can you SEE how much you have changed?? Not very often man. The funniest thing is how i used what i thought was "humor" to cover up the intense pain i felt from certain people in my life back then. I still do that. Not as much, i think it's a weakness and better to just tell it like it is. I saw how much love i had for a person who wouldnt even take care of his baby's mother when she was extremely ill. Through all the sarcasm, and the front i put up you can see how much i yearned for him to love me..... or maybe you couldnt see that, and im just telling you. Thats the way it was! He was my first love, my high school sweetheart, and at the time come hell or high water i would end up with him. WELL....4 years later our inevitable fate occured....and you know what? I'm okay. He's my friend, or at least i hope he is. We arent as close as we once were, but i always ask myself "were we really that close to begin with??" Simply a question i wont ponder much, because if i got the answer i think i would get i would rob myself of our good memories that i can hold onto, and share with our daughter. Thats what i take to bed with me at night....The good times. I wish him nothing but the best....i hope he finds true love, like i have. I also forgot just how colicky vivian was, and how for hours on end she would cry and cry....wow.  She is still an emotional little thing. Everything effects her in good and bad ways, she is overly sensitive. Optomistic, and well the antithesis of ME! Sometimes our relationship is trying.... because we are so different. I am ampathetic, pessimistic and have a fuck the world attitude where as she wakes up singing "Its a beautiful day out!!" Although sometimes i laugh about the perky, blonde, cheerleader of a daughter i have i also dont want her to change. With her attitude i probably would have been better off! She is brilliant, and beautiful. She is a diamond. Now i have two! Jeeze. Who'd a thunk it? Bradley takes my breath away on a daily basis. He's incredible... the laughs we share, and the inside jokes we have....our friendship is so deep. I have never felt that "blood connection" being adopted....now i do with my children. I missed out. Dave. Haha....dave. He drives me insane. He is the most stubborn, most arrogant (though he wont admit it, no matter WHAT!) and  the most annoying person i have ever met. But i wouldnt know how to live without him....he is the love of my life. He drives me so fabulously insane...yet really pushes me to be my best. From all the people in my life who have stolen my dreams away from me.....he has inspired me, and brought them allllll back. He's me, my, cutie! hehe. Don't get me wrong....i am a emotional trainwreck of a girl. I have more issues than a magazine rack, and i am constantly battling the demons within... BUT...i will save all that crap for the blogs to come. Not my update. -ME. ....also... for those wondering why i would want to bring back this page of mine? Well... i realized. Life is short. And in the events of my uncle teddy dying to save a woman, my grandmother dying from emphazema, troy dying of cancer, dororthy dying at 97 years old, and then hollywood in an uproar from it's loss of young talent i realize anything can happen anytime, anyplace and we cant do a thing to stop it. In this website i am immortilized, if only for a short time. So that if anything happened to me....you have my thoughts, feelings, and heart--all in writing.   Current Mood: thoughtful (Comment on this)
Friday, February 20th, 2004
1:07 pm	Such a good night. :) last night went to club blu.... little ghetto for the 18+!!! but thats all good.... i had 5 shots of straight vodka, and then a whole thing of orange rum and sierra mist... ummmmm that sounds gross, but it def wasnt... i didnt get drunk, VERY buzzed though, and i had to talk to carlas mom and not sound buzzed. and i think....from the hysterical laughter coming from carla that i failed miserably. hahahaha... danced with a few guys, few gross things happened. BUT... i danced with a colin farrell look alike, who wanted my number, weird huh?!....but....anyways it was a good night, lots more happened...but nothing that i want to write down for anyone who happens to read this HAHA. not so much. last night i also realized, they must grab the worst dancers in the club and place them on the stage, the fact that all those girls were painful to watch dance had to be more than a coinsidence. haha so thursday is designated girls night out with carla, so... good times... i will write later when im not so tired. Drinking + Late night + Baby = VERY VERY VERY tired...with a headache. Current Mood: giggly Current Music: a bad song blow my whistle bitch. on a mix CD dont ask lol (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 19th, 2004
11:03 am	*YAWNS* I am overly fucking exhausted. I LOVE BETHEN CONNER!!!!!!!---big ups to her, i am so happy she is with someone that makes her happy, that is all thats important. Talked to mikie yesterday, hes so funny.... Josh is still my bestest buddy in the whole world, even though shit sucks right now....but hopefully i will end up going to curry so we can hang out and shoot the shit. phil and i have been talking, for the first time in like.... months i feel that he is being himself, and being honest. which i like. ALOT. he is coming down tuesday and taking me to UNH friday, what what?? haha...i definately need sometime with sarah, to just talk about shit,it sucks living out here in east ass fuck. tonight i am going out with carla....i know i am going to get so redonkulously drunk....i hope i dont act or do anything stupid. haha.... it should be a good night. vivian is awesome, the doctor said she is EXTREMELY smart for 2 months, because she is babbling already, and smiling un-related to gas, and she has the coordination to put her thumb in her mouth....she is a big thumbsucker. the doctor said she is way advanced for her age, im proud....although it has nothing to do with me, must have been all that oatmeal i ate when i was preggo. hahaha well... i am out....but....i hope to talk to all my beloved friends cocked. hahaha gooood times. Current Mood: geeky Current Music: Incubus, i miss you. :) (Comment on this)
12:25 am	...arrrrrg I am so tired. but cant sleep cause vivian is up..... dave is telling me man hater jokes...LOL... ImpaledMilk666: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down? ImpaledMilk666: Marriage. ImpaledMilk666: Why are men like bottles? ImpaledMilk666: They're all empty from the neck up. so true. hey, thanks douche bag for not picking up the phone :)... love ya too. tommorow i am going clubbin with carla, should be a good time. i am going to get fucked...hope im not too to stupid, but if i am who cares... not anyone i know ;-) heehehe i am having a bad day, and night.... needed someone to talk to...but no one could talk. poo. well i am going to bed, i am fucking tired. and the best one.... ImpaledMilk666: Why did God create man? HILLARY182: ? ImpaledMilk666: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. so true. ;-) Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: blublublublublbublbublbub lub (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
6:06 pm	WHAT WHAT!? lol SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Tired. late night again talking to phil... till like 5:30....then right after we got off the phone i got a boost of energy..like BAM and stared at the wall for a while...then vivian woke me up at 10... today was vivians doctors appointment, she is 22 1/2 inches, and 12.8 pounds....haha she likes long walks on the beach and moonlit dinners. LOL...sorry but explaining that made her sound like a personal in a paper. haha. ANYWHOZZLEBEEZ she had her first 3 shots, and it was sooooo sad she cried, and it was just..... awful lol. josh, your gonna have to give me those dates again to come to curry, my mom lost them hahaha....she threw them out i just know it. and you owe me 14 BUCKS BABY! KEEP THE MONEY COMING, KEEP SAYING YO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tonight is one tree hill. what what?? hahaha i loooooove chad micheal murray yum yum. i am bored. phil... dont call and tell me to call you back when i dont have your FUCKING NUMBER!!!!!!!!! lol...that is sooo irritating. anyways... i am going to do something else. bethen talked to me for 5 minutes, and 6 seconds. :) yay! (just fucking with ya) Current Mood: complacent Current Music: ...DONT YOU KNOW THAT YOUR TOXIC!.. haha its on mtv. (Comment on this)
Monday, February 16th, 2004
4:57 pm	blaaaaaaaaaaaaah :) I am cold. It is soooooo freezing in my house, damn my mom and her hot flashes!!!!!! lol today was kinda boring...well... so far... there may be something going on tonight, who the hell knows. carla has declared this thursday be "OFFICIAL MAN HUNT NIGHT!" lol..she is taking me out to some clubs, and bars and shit...she just dumped her boyfriend, so she needs some girl time. she is 21..almost 22...sooo i know i will get fucking smashed, LOL. only 1 weekend before i go to UNH...and partay, with sarah. i would go visit bethen....but.... we dont talk alot anymore really...it is a sad thing ::crys::....but i understand its all good. :) Talked to mel and josh, their funny. Talked to mike...he is funny...among other things, and Talked to sarah and she likes brian alot, hit that guuuuurl. ;) lol well i am bored, and i have to go get ready for if i go tonight, but... i am exhausted from the long talk with phil....soooo...maybe i will stay in and what not. i will write later. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: the law & order marathon on USA. ya..im a loser. :) (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 15th, 2004
4:47 pm	Argdevarious. well... i talked to phil. same old bullshit. he misses me, he needs me, he wants me back. but he has no feeling what-so-ever about the fact he lied to me among other things. guess he is getting off on the rape charge because there was someone in the house that knows it was a mutual decision, and he has 6 different voice mails from her begging him to be with her, and when he said no she turned it all into a rape thing, he will still get charged with the fact she was way underage however. whatever. he goes to FL in a few weeks for his court date for the drama when he went down there. he told me he thinks he will be put on probation, and his curfew will be 9:00 and how will he see vivian?...not my problem. i guess this is one of those rare cases where its a good thing that i dont drive, or have a car. he needs help, and i guess he has an appointment to get it next week. valentines day sucked... but... i went to the mall and went fucking CRAZY with birthday money and got just about every last outfit i wanted. thats an exaggeration, but.... i got alot. and i have money to spend on viv now too...so i will get more toys to keep her happy. yesssss. on a good valentines day note dave was my long distance valentine, and talked to me drunk on the phone for 2 hours haha....that was funny! today im really sick again, ugh... it sucks. but... dialysis is a coming, right bethen? i have alot more to say....but i dont know at this point how many people ACTUALLY read my live journal... so... whoever does is getting some jerry springer type reading in, huh? lol well i am a fucking tool so i am off to watch the re-run of everwood, and one tree hill. can you say LOSER?...ehh its all good... :) hillary Current Mood: devious Current Music: my dog...barking....non fucking stop...horray. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 12th, 2004
8:21 pm	Fuck birthdays. Could today have been worse? probably...but only if i was hit by an 18 wheeler, lost all my limbs but still managed to live through it all only making my time here on earth THAT much suckier, but allowing me to still hear and see all the drama that happens on a day to day basis in my life. but i havent gone outside today, at least not near a road...so something tells me thats a good thing. and not to. well... phil sucks more than imaginable. but everyone knew that, and it was only a matter of time until i did completely as well. vivian is crying, and has been so i cannot even watch my shows on thursday because i cannot hear them i couldnt eat my dinner because i was too sick in the stomach with my day. then i found out my dad is not letting my mom come to MY family birthday party. and that was my birthday, horfuckingray. if i seem like i am in a bad mood, i am more than in a bad mood. i am so mad, and sad and depressed i could be the poster child for paxil. but i guess i have to deal with everything, just like anyone else. either that or my not taking of my anti-biotics will land me a sweet room at the middlesex hospital and i wil get on dialysis and have a vacation from this thing called life. and yes, i know it is not good when you think of a hospital stay as a vacation. but it will be. tommorow i will be with my dad, sisters who dont get along and grandparents who are consistantly lied to by my family. "we get along great"...."she is doing just fine"..."of course he isnt an alcoholic" and we lie to these poor people that i love because we dont want to burden them with family dramatics. well just call me 85 years old then! i dont want any drama either. well i have had enough ranting and raving about my sucky fucky life. so i am off...to do nothing. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: vivian crying. (Comment on this)
3:04 am	josh sucks. will host an-nual... hahahahahaha yea IM DUMB. YOU ASS. ...you can swim in me anyday. ;-) lmao inside joke Current Mood: dorky Current Music: faucet dripping. :) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
11:49 pm	Water tastes good. Well i am being bad. i am havin raviolis....one of my most favoritist things, but i had dinner. tsk tsk. tonight was ok, that 70's show was funny, american idol was boring, the OC was fantabulous....and that was my night. note the fact EVERYTHING i did was TV. and the fact that vivian was bawling her ass off and i took her out of her bouncy seat and put her on my nice, comfy cozy, thermal most favoritist blanket that has ever existed...and she fell asleep because of its amazing powers to make you oh so comfy. and guess what she did! PISSED ALL OVER IT... through her clean diaper...all over...my blanky. what a sad moment. and until i wash it i am going to be gross and use it. or i cannot sleep. this has magical powers like i said. hahahahahahahaha....if you slept in it...you would know. so i must say that i need a life. well its 12. im 20! :) im off. nighty night. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: my snarfing down of raviolis hahaha (Comment on this)
7:01 pm	Cupid needs to get punched out. Well.... my least favorite holiday EVER is on saturday. all my friends are lovey dovey and smoochy and..... that is fine. i will be spending valentines day with my dad, my grandparents, phil (vomits) and vivian. doesnt get hotter than that! but i dont have a valentine. so... he doesnt know it.... but i am officially making pat my valentine. haha he has never met me, but thats ok. omg... i drank so much caffiene today i could be trendy and run a marathon like p.diddy. but i wont, because although i am hyper i am incredibly lazy. but sometimes i can be un-lazy. but today is not one of those days. tonight is THE OC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have been waiting 3 weeks for this episode. someone gets shot. w00t! lol big ups to bethen with J... what what.... do yo thang miss! ;-) lol ...i have a headache and i am dizzy. and i smell somewhat of vanilla and baby puke, so it my friend is time i take a shower...so i am off. enless i sleep at 10 like a tool like i did last night i will write again after THE OC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. the word obsessed comes to mind. welp. later. Current Mood: horny Current Music: the ringing in my ears from my headache...peaceful :) (Comment on this)
12:35 pm	I like trees. i have decided that i am far too cynical for 20 years old. so everyday im going to do a 'cool list'....here goes it... 5. asthma medicine. because i enjoy to breathe. 4. orange listerine 3. $12 hooded sweatshirts from wal-mart. 2. mountain dew 1. re-runs of saved by the bell so.... yesterday i went to bed at like 7????? actually it was more like....10/11 but thats sad....i am a night owl...and i missed a night. but thats ok i was tired. i also had a weird dream......but i forget it now... my dog is a cock. josh is a pussy. and i am fun. hahahahaha... but really though.... josh wants me to come visit at his school....buuuuut i say bad bad bad idea. he would chicken out in the end... like he ALWAYS does. haha i am starvin like marvin. hahahaha welp...i will write later...i just woke up from the couch and my neck is like half broken from the piece of shat. peace! Current Mood: crazy Current Music: saved by the bells background. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
3:46 pm	...Toxic should take a flying leap..... These songs would not hurt me should they ever be played again. oukast-hey ya britney-toxic ..anything by clay aiken.. and thats it....all i ask for is a little bit of randomness on the radio, and fucking MTV. that radio and mtv is poisoned with little catchy, ear worms that are played over and over and over until you hear them so much they are played in your dreams. and that my friend is too much. i made a decision, i am going to marry rush limbaugh. yea i know, not because of looks. but we match. we complain about everything, and to us...we are never wrong, AND he has all the oxycontin i need for all my 17485923826465 health issues. he is my dream man. we can just complain about how much the world suck together, while we get high. hahahaha i dont complain about everything. colin farrell is beautiful. just gorgeous. i would lick him all over hahah. ::long pause::.... that was a nice image. on the friend front. congrats bethen on being truly happy, i am happy you are happy. happy happy happy happy day! :) josh. .you suck. but i like ya, and i want your friend pat muahahahahah. but do not tell him because i will cry. enless....he reads this....because i read his...because you gave me his name and that would be embarassing...in which case i have completly fucked myself. and he knows everything about me now. well....ja rule is on the radio, so i must change it, it is featuring ashanti...and lemme tell ya, it is another played out song "love it when im wit you baby..." later. tonight.after one tree hill. and believe me i will have alot to say. :-D Current Mood: exanimate Current Music: ja rule :( (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 9th, 2004
5:42 am	and the jury says.....malpractice.... Can i just say that i HATE CT husky insurance? Just because i am recieving free healthy care from the Gov't i get doctors who do not know what they are doing, doctors who hardly have any patients. First if all i have a UTI and a kidney infection because they thought it was a yeast infection, and it definately definately WASNT. so... boo bam right there is a horrible sickness, then i get my look over today and she says "hmmm, your back hurts...your stomach hurts...well your fever is down thats good!!"...yeah i know it is good i am not burning up. so then she says ok, your set to go. then i get home...and the answering machine says: "this message is for hillary hunt, we forgot to get a urine sample from her today to see if her blood counts were down and if she was still dehydrated or not call us back at _______" I AM MAD....AND MAD MAD MAD. but i have to go back in 10 days to see if the infection is gone. i hate doctors for people like me. well i have nuffin else to say. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: vivian bawling her ass off :) (Comment on this)
1:48 am	Tired Tired Tired.....but cant sleep. This is my very very last journal...for today. It is begining to serve a good purpose, when i get bored i do it and it keeps me busy, and two i can vent about shit. which is always good to vent. haha... small joke..venting shit. ahh.. you know. well tonight i have decided that during high school i must have killed myself, and i am now living in a hell that looks like my life did when i was in high school but it isnt. If it isnt that then i truly am cursed by those damned psychics in york! bah! tonight....drum roll for the drama... my mom kicked me out for the 1637592011648503028476590347289497262623748599! time....and hates me, and told me that vivian disrupts her life because she crys, to which i said "hmm...sorry i didnt give birth to a deaf blind mute child to make life a little more quiet for ya, but i figured when you knew i was pregnant having had 3 children of your own you would know she would cry" then she slammed the door in my face. thhhheen.... my eyes get blurry! like fuzzy! and i realize i cannot see things close up enless i squint, but i can see things far away grrreat. so...glasses here i come. which is ok, i want those buddy hollyish looking glasses. and then phil calls. to defend himself for not helping me this weekend. he got the complete wrath of hillary....need i say more? haha grammy's sucked worse than clay aiken. and that my friend is hard.... well.. hmm.. that was a tad bit of a stretch. nothing can suck worse than clay aiken the cool o meter goes...1 being coolest 10 being so not cool...so count the names 10.clay aiken--hilary duff--milli vanilli-- vanilla ice--mchammer-- oreos--mountain dew--beyonce--sex--1.britney spears! i didnt use my friends in that cool-o-meter so they wouldnt be mad. :) ok, i am off. and i will post my want ad now. "Single white female looking for HOT abercrombie and fitch looking GAY guy,19-24, who likes children, kickboxing, dressing me, undressing me, cuddling, and the occasional sex--call hillary--" that will be tough to find, but worth the wait.goodnight... i will obviously write more tommorow, enless im in the hospital. looooove hillaroo. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: ...the background of E.R...it is on late at night okay? haha (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 8th, 2004
7:02 pm	wham bam thank ya grammy's.... ....I am bored... getting ready to watch the grammy's. just tried to eat a turkey sandwich and....no go. watch 3 men and a baby for the 2nd time, and notices wilson from home improvment is in it as a bad guy!!!!! weird. vivian has a rash...a bad one. it is on her left cheek and it is because she is allergic to tide with bleach which kelley, dpg, mandy, and dave ALL use. and when does she get this rash you ask? when mandy dave dpg and kelley hold her. but... no one listens to me...maybe when the left side of her face rots off from gang green from itching so bad they may say "heyyyy hill was right" bet lets hope it is before that. my family is psychotic. well....i am off!!! josh tells me the most coolest person in the whole world has a live journal now haha, so im gonna read pats then watch the grammy's. :-D p.s the mood i chose i chose simply because i dont have a damned clue what it means hahaha Current Mood: quixotic Current Music: puff daddy and the family haha
3:12 pm	LIES AND THE LYING LIARS WHO TELL THEM!!!! lol Well....just my luck. a UTI and a kidney infection in both kidneys for those who dont know. i think i did a pretty good job of taking care of VRAE being sick with a 103 temp and all. no thanks to phil though. but... what was i thinking hittin the slopes is more important than watching his daughter while i am burning from the insides. :-D on a lighter note... josh and i are not not talking anymore, he is back up... on his way to a 9. good thing since although he makes me especially mad sometimes he is my best guy friend for life!!lol oh... and to top it off he blew his load at the strip club where i worked and yelled at me....funny random dream. bethen....what what? i know you wanna hit hit that. lmao god luck to her. my dog is going buckwild and my baby is bawling her ass of and i cant write what i want to say because everyone is IMing me...and i cannot concentrate. lmao... (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 5th, 2004
4:52 pm	Today on jenny jones: My baby daddy is a drunk. I am going to be honest, guys suck. there is nothing good about them besides their penis....but.... NEWSFLASH they excrete 'semen' a nasty bodily fluid that gets you into trouble by knocking you up. not that im bitter. i currently want two guys to get really hurt. phil...for being a jerk, and turning into my dad by drinking any moment he can or feels like it. and markus for being...well... an insensitive prick. im going on a penis strike. boo on the penis. so... i have a 102.7 temp...and im very sick. still takin care of my b-e-a utiful vivian...that little diva..... tommorow i think im going to unh.... funnnnnnn. lol. i guess... well i would write more by my hands feel somewhat like icecubes and im afraid they are going to crack. i am freezing. pezace! ya'll..... (Comment on this)